About Me

Here you can learn more about the author of this website and its content.

Who am I ?

From my early childhood to the present now, I have learned and practiced various methods of yoga and meditation, had endless experiences, became transformed and got insights into my true nature, about which I want to share with you as honest and clear as possible.

Early Childhood

Teenager Days

End of School

University Time

First clear insight into my true Self

Deepening into my true Self

Early Childhood

Already at the young age of 3 years old my mother told me, that there is god and that only one of his children can talk with him, also known as the last prophet. In that moment I intuitively felt a depth in my self and knew that it cannot be. I knew from inner clarity in that moment that anyone can know and talk to god. Although I didn’t know who or what god is.

From her I learned different prayers and mantras which I used to repeat mentally every day for many minutes in the morning and before going to bed and some days even for hours while walking around. 

Within these years very strange experiences happened that could be deemed as childish imagination. From conscious dreams to enhanced perception. Many of these experiences were frightening to me, so that at some point it became clear that we need help.

With the age of around 7 we were introduced to a wonderful woman of the Sufi traditions in Turkey – coming from the linage of Haci Bektasi Veli – and I learned that all of these experiences and enhanced perceptions were normal and there is no reason to fear.

A magical journey started in parallel to school and children life. This period went on until the age of 12.

 

 

Teenager Days

Growing to a young boy, life was very attractive and for some time I forgot about all the magic that happened in the early years of my childhood. Still I continued with the Sufi teachings including mantras and prayers. Especially the teachings of the heart were dominant in my day to day life.

Kepp the heart of others in joy, do extra effort to make the other happy and above all always value his heart. With this the teenager days went on with great respect and kindness as much as was possible. It became easy to oversee faults and just focus on the heart flowering behaviours.

My mental capabilities were strong. Back then I couldn’t see the direct connection to the mental process of repeating mantras and prayers, but with that daily habit all other school activities were a breese and easy to handle. School marks were great and a lot of school friends could be helped.

This period went on until the age of 18, where the magic started to show up again..

End of School

Although having turkish parents, I have been born and grew up in Germany. The college went on until the age of 20, so the remaining two years completely changed the course of my life.

With 18 I started reading books about paranormal activities and got curious if any of these phenomena could be reproduced. Together with a friend we started with telekinesis practice – aiming to move objects without touching them. Seven days in a row, 16 hours a day until we got results ..

For me it was clear, if that is possible, all is possible and an extreme intense desire to know more about it arose. All my spare time and money I started to spend on books and on the internet to find out ways and means to access what neither your parents, school teachers, nor your friends know.

Having experienced conscious dreams, astral projections, telepathic experiences and joyous states of consciousness, it became more and more clear that this is just the beginning of a great journey inwards.

University Time

Within the transitioning year of civil service and helping older people having a better life, I finally discovered the yogis. All texts spoke about amazing capabilities and insights into their true nature which awoke in me an unexplanable desire to find out the same and reach the same.

Although the Sufi teachings continued with me, it felt like I have to expand my horizon to learn from all sources of all cultures to find out the deepest and truest, the greatest whatever it is. I thought that somehow it is related with god, but as the Sufi’s had taught to me from the very beginning: “The key is in your self, you are the key that opens the door”.

As the yogis were talking a similiar language, only a little more scientific, I started practicing their techniques with great intensity.

This went on the first years of the university time. For over a year in the beginning, there were no results, but after some ice melting, the magic of inner experiences grew.

States of joy and bliss were rising, clearing all mental activities and leaving me speechless as to why none of this is adressed or taught in schools or universities.

The reason was obvious, it is all fantasy and none of it is real. But is it? From objective science to subjective science, my inner journey continued regardless of what people believed. 

But one day, I hit a wall. The inner joy and bliss became overwhelming in ways that studying started to become a problem. Inner perceptions of sounds and colours  became so dominant, that I did not know to whom to speak about it. An inner wish for guidance came and with this I finally found a great Yogi – Yogiraj Siddhanath from the Himalayas – who answered all my questions and took me even further to for me absolutely unmaginable depths.

From wondering around unkowingly to practicing effective yogic methods with clear guidance, all of my troubles dissolved. Life as a student became fluid and successfull, many physical, emotional and mental blockages of mine dissolved. A complete transformation happened.

Childhood friends asked about the changes and were wondering why and how speedy it was happening. I myself only watched the magic unfolding..

First clear insight into my true Self

Practicing for many years from the age 20 onwards I had many mystical and magical experiences, including everything the yogis and other traditions talk about, like kundalini risings, experiences of union and nonduality, blisses and ectasies unspeakable of. People only believed that drugs can induce such experiences, but from young age on I knew only what comes from within will last and whatever treasures are hiding within, they must be accessed naturally and permanently.

As these experiences peaked one day, a strong current of life energy arose from the base of the spine and erected the whole body, flowed upwards to the top of the head and with that dissolved all perceptions. Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touch, the outer world, the body and mind was gone. What was left, was Me, formless existence and consciousness.

And what a joy, what a joy was reveleaing itself as Me.

Suddenly energy formed and started to create the top of my head and flowed down creating a body and a world until that energy was back the base of the spine. It was a shocking moment, but there was no time for the mind to form thoughts and once again the energy arose up the spine, this time even stronger and with reaching the top dissolved all once again. A very long time I was clearly there, joyfully overflowing formless conscious presence.

The life energies again formed back the body and world flowing down the spine. This repeated many times until it was clear, everything comes and goes, but something always remains, I remain. The teachings of the Sufis and Yogis, the creation and dissolution of life, the true Self, all was evidently revealing to be true.

After this happening all sensory perception was transformed for several days, creating an experience of oneness with all that can be perceived.

Until all faded away.. 

 

Deepening into my true Self

After the first experience of my true Self at the age of 23 it was clear that I just hit the surface of experiencing Me. Like a sneek preview, that was unforgetable, but that can never fulfil the inner desire to know the inner depths to its finality.

Until the age of 27 I was unable to reach the same experience again, no matter how much I forced it with the practices. Although fantastic joys and blisses were continuous from that time on, somehow it felt like I was sidetracked and missing something.

Having practiced Kriya Yoga intensly for many years, which was the source of all the great transformation and experiences, I was introduced to Jnana Yoga more and more. These Yogis repeated even more clearly that the true Self is always accessible irrespective of the life energies and life unfoldings. Although back then I could see that the Self is just covered and masked by a body and world and that it is always present, I could not see that accessing it directly was possible too.

Introducing the Jnana Yogic teachings as an addition to the Kriya Yogic teachings, my true Self started to reveal itself again. And this time it became obvious, I am the constant subject, that which always is present, that which is just ignored by endless perceptions of the body, mind and the world. The joy and truth I was seeking, was hiding as me. And the key, as the Sufis and later on the Yogis always had hinted to, was: giving the true Self direct attention.

From the age of 28 onwards a new period in my life started. From unclarity about who I am to being more and more based in the peace and joy of my true Self.

But is this all? Not even close, as the deepening has never stopped since then. And it is clear that the journey left happens through ever more remaining as the true Self.

All love and joy!

Love Self Awareness ?

Become a Member and be part of a growing Community!

If you love to remain Self Aware or if you want to learn the ways and means, you are very much welcome!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This